I remember my first introduction to the fact that transgender people exist. It was when Israeli* contestant, Dana International, won the Eurovision. I was 12 at the time, and I have to admit, I didn’t understand at all. My painfully misinformed understanding, was that a “man” had gotten surgery to turn themselves into a woman. The understanding that trans women are women wouldn’t come until much later.
But, I remember watching the interview that Gay Byrne had with Dana International, (not from the time, I remember rewatching it from more recently). Gay Byrne was 63 years old at the time, so he was, possibly quite recently, being introduced to the fact that transgender people exist. Although here and there he used words that would be considered outdated now, he treated Dana (not the other Dana!) with the same respect, courtesy, and kindness with which he would treat any other guest on his show. So, what’s my point?
My point is, Irish people got their first introduction to the concept of a trans person in 1998. And many people are still pretending trans people are a new “scary” concept that was only introduced last week. And it’s really, really weird. Sometimes I’m talking to someone and if the subject of trans people comes up, they will use the same, outdated language for them that someone from a 1990’s tv show depicting a trans person might. Indeed, I’ve been in situations where somebody is talking about a trans person they know, and the whole time I’m assuming they’re talking about a trans man, because they’ve been misgendering the person, who is a trans woman, the whole time.
So now, in the year of our Lord, 2025, when there has been, a lot more time to “get used to” the fact that trans people live in our society, people are still using more outdated, and backward language, to describe trans people, than Gay Byrne did back in 1998.
Sigh, The Trans Bathroom Panic
Just last week, I was using a public bathroom, and a trans man entered. He began reading from the Necronomicon, and all of a sudden, 52 demons appeared. The trans man yelled, in a demonic voice, “The flames will eat your soul! The flames will eat your soul!” and the demons pursued me. I’m lucky to have gotten out of that incident without being dragged into the depths of hell itself.
It might surprise you to know that that incident didn’t actually happen. So what did happen the last time I shared a bathroom with a trans man? I don’t know, I don’t know whether the other guys in the bathroom are trans. And why should I care? There’s still going to be a disgusting turd floating in the toilet bowl, regardless of whether or not the other people in the bathroom were assigned male at birth.
That’s the weird thing about the trans bathroom panic. “Oh my God, what happens if a trans person comes into the bathroom, uses the bathroom, then washes their hands and leaves, how would I cope, oh the humanity!” Do you really think trans people haven’t used public bathrooms before? Do you really think they haven’t used them while you were there before?
The weird thing is, I thought, I was under the impression, that most people had reached a point of, “Just let trans people use the shitter in peace.” But, still, in the year of our Lord 2025, I’m still hearing, “Oh my God, what if a trans person comes into the bathroom, and I’ve forgotten to bring me crucifix with me, how do I banish them, how, how!”
For example, this video from, nine years ago, explains the absurdity of expecting trans men to use the women’s bathroom:
Nine years ago it was explained that, if trans people aren’t allowed to use the bathroom that matches their gender identity, then you’ll invariably have trans men forced to use the women’s bathroom. Trans men. Bearded trans men. Deep voiced trans men. Trans men who often times are a thousand times more masculine then I’ll ever be.
This isn’t to say there aren’t feminine presenting trans men, and masculine presenting trans women, and that of course, is just as valid. But, and I hate that it’s necessary to point this out, nine years after it was explained in this video, but if people are worried about men with beards and deep voices entering the women’s bathroom, well, that’s EXACTLY what you get by forcing trans men to use the women’s bathroom.
I’m really getting surprised that this issue just, won’t die. Do people really worry that much about who else is in the bathroom? I would have thought, I would have hoped, that the only thing that worried people is whether or not there’s going to be a disgusting floater in the toilet bowl, mocking them, laughing at them, making what was already a horrible, painful, humiliating day, so, so much worse.
What was I talking about again? Oh yes. Sadly, this issue just won’t die. In Britain this year, new laws were implemented that mean trans people are forced to use bathrooms and other facilities that don’t match their gender identity:
And as this article points out, how do you even enforce that? Despite what some people think, you can’t instantly tell who is trans, and who is cis (cis means non-trans), by simply looking at them. Some trans women, for example, have an extremely feminine presentation, while some cis women have an extremely masculine presentation, and vice versa for trans men. How would you enforce any of this? Do you ask everyone to provide their birth certificate before they enter the bathroom? Or if that’s too time consuming, do you take a selective approach, and ask only femme presenting men, or masc presenting women, for their birth certificates?
Doesn’t all of this just distract us from what a public toilet is really for, which is to feel deep anguish and existential terror about what might be floating in that bowl?
How many times does this have to be explained? Forcing trans men to use the women’s bathroom, means Deep Voice Mac Beardy has to use the women’s bathroom. Enforcing these laws means either everyone has to be asked for proof of how they were assigned at birth, or femme presenting men, or masc presenting women, are targeted for this humiliating treatment.
I actually had great hope, initially, that the trans bathroom panic would bypass Ireland. Sadly, not so. There is an Irish organization I know of, which recently implemented a gender neutral toilet, in addition to the male toilets and female toilets. Initially, I thought this was a positive development, assuming that the trans people who were part of this organization, were spoken to, their needs were listened to, and it was decided that they would benefit from having access to a gender neutral toilet.
But it was later explained to me why the gender neutral toilet was put in, and it turned out, the needs of trans people were not considered, at all. It turned out the reason, the only reason, why a gender neutral toilet was put in, was because cis people felt uncomfortable sharing a bathroom with trans people.
Jesus H Christ, why won’t this issue just fucking die! In a world where there is genocide going on in Gaza and Sudan, a world of mass extinction, a world that is being destroyed by climate change, and the issue that some people think is most important is that a trans woman might want to use the women’s bathroom?
It’s been 27 years since Ireland, and much of Europe, was introduced to the idea of trans women via the Eurovision. 27 years since a man in his sixties, who would have been very new to the idea of trans people, showed more kindness, more compassion, and more respect, to a trans woman then a lot of people do now. I really think now, more than 2 decades on, the excuse that people aren’t used to trans people, just doesn’t fly anymore. Sure, I’m not saying us cis people won’t get things wrong some of the time, I think that’s going to happen on account of us having no idea what it’s like to be trans, but, we’re literally a quarter of the way into the 21st century. Campaigns against trans women using the women’s bathroom are pathetic. They are absolutely pathetic. What insane level of privilege must a person have (and to be clear I have a lot of privilege myself), that the issue that has most consumed their brain is what it says on the birth certificate of the person in the shitter next door!
I don’t care whether you’re trans or cis. I don’t care what pronouns you use. It is your right, your sacred right, to experience the absolute horror of realizing that the thing floating in the toilet simultaneously occupies a 1 and a 7 on the Bristol stool chart, without some idiot banging on the door yelling about your birth certificate.
*Given the horrific genocide that is currently happening in Gaza, I thought a lot about whether it was appropriate to talk about an Israeli citizen who has not in any way condemned that genocide, but rather has repeated the tired old line “In Gaza they kill you for being LGBT”:
https://www.jpost.com/j-spot/article-771739
Ireland is currently boycotting the Eurovision, but it should have boycotted the Eurovision back then, when Israel was subjecting Gaza and the West Bank to apartheid conditions. So really, this interview between Gay Byrne and Dana International shouldn’t have taken place.
I felt between a rock and a hard place with the Dana International interview. On the one hand, her story of trans acceptance in Israel was invariably used to market Israel as a “progressive” country and to draw attention away from the apartheid conditions in Palestine. On the other hand, I do think that the interview is a very big part of the story of trans acceptance in Ireland, so it felt very difficult to write this blogpost without including it. It was a difficult decision, and I hope I’ve made the right call by its inclusion.
Ponderings Of An Autist 