I think I probably have a reputation among people I know as, that guy who never shuts up about Palestine. Palestine this, Palestine that, has he anything else to say for himself? And I get the impression, that I come across as someone who has been a supporter of Palestine for years, if not decades. But that’s not true. It was only until very recently, that I was in that useless middle ground of being not for or against Palestine, which in many ways, is as bad as being a supporter of Israel, to someone who goes to protest marches, boycotts Israeli products, and of course, writes about Palestine on this very blog. So, I thought it might be interesting to document my journey, as they say!
I remember first learning about the injustice that happened to the Palestinian people in sixth year, in secondary school (for those from other countries, sixth year is the final year of secondary school, students in this year are typically aged 17-18.) We had this teacher, who I got the impression was extremely left wing, but had to moderate what he had to say so as not to violate school policies. And he explained Palestine to us. How the people of Palestine were kicked off their land and denied basic human rights in order to create the State Of Israel. And I KNEW that was wrong. At aged 18 years old, I KNEW that was wrong. The Holocaust was one of the most horrific events in not just the twentieth century, but all of human history, but nothing about that horror justified removing the Palestinian people from their land. If a great evil has been done to you, you don’t get to inflict an injustice on completely innocent people. But, from this moment on, nothing happened. I didn’t become a supporter of Palestine. Why. It’s complicated! I mean both I was influenced by this thought terminating cliche, and the reasons I didn’t were complicated. That phrase has a double meaning! Maybe I’m getting better at this writing business!
The other thing I should point out is that, until much later in my life, you were mainly talking about “armchair politics”. Having opinions on this or that political issue, but never really acting on it. But in my early twenties, I had some serious armchair opinions on the United States. I viewed them (and still do) as a country that forces its will on other, weaker countries, and I viewed them as a country that hypocritically talked about peace and democracy while bringing war and dictatorship to other countries. And around this time I started religiously reading Noam Chomsky, who was and still is a hero of mine. I started reading about how U.S foreign policy was responsible for so much that was wrong in the world. And, I was very opposed to the Iraq War which was going on at the time, from the proverbial armchair of course.
And, Chomsky also talked about Israel and Palestine. So, why didn’t this influence me to become deeply against what Israel was doing, in the same way I was against the Iraq War? Well, I think what it came down to is that, I didn’t know much about Israel, or Palestine. So it seemed like this very distant thing that couldn’t really grab my attention. But isn’t it equally true that I didn’t, and don’t, know a lot about Iraq? Yes, but the difference was, while I didn’t know about Iraq, I knew about the United States. We all know about the U.S, it’s one of the most influential countries in the world. So I knew who the enemy was. I knew George W Bush, he was on the t.v all the time. But with Israel and Palestine, my brain was able to file it under, “Some foreigners, having a dispute about, something.” Of course, it never occurred to me how much the United States is complicit in Israel’s crimes.
A few years later, the protests for Palestine became a very prominent feature in Cork City. I remember seeing a sign at one of those, that I thought was stupid. (In fact, I was stupid at the time, I didn’t understand the sign.) The sign showed the flag of the State Of Israel, then an equals sign, then a Swastika. I misunderstood the State Of Israel flag as just meaning, Jewish people, so I thought, what a stupid sign, this guy is saying the Jews are Nazis, obviously the Jews are the ones the Nazis murdered! So part of the reason I was able to dismiss the protests, in that moment, was because I had concocted a story in my head about how one of the signs was greatly misinformed and anti-Semitic.
And I remember the protests outside Tesco, and just finding them, so loud! And I was probably thinking something along the lines of, “If they had a nice polite protest maybe people would listen to their little complaints!” Years later, I realized being all nice is NOT how effective protest works. I mean, have you ever actually looked into what the suffragettes did? We’ve been fed this story over the years, about how the nice little suffragettes approached the men, and said, “Excuse me sir, might I please trouble you for some votes?” and the men replied, “Why yes my dear, you can have all the votes you like, and aren’t you a sweet little thing!” No, no, no! Rather than the suffragettes being these sweet little dears, they were more badass, then, someone playing a ten string guitar while simultaneously riding a motorcycle, yes, that analogy will have to do. Have a look at some of the things the suffragettes did. Have you heard of Emily Davidson? No polite protest there!:
https://www.bbc.co.uk/history/historic_figures/davison_emily.shtml
So, years later, but not on that day, I would understand that the establishment keeps demanding “Nice little protests” because “Nice little protests”, don’t work! That’s why the establishment likes ’em! An effective protest has to be, at the very least, loud! Oh why can’t they protests quietly? Because nobody will hear it if you protest quietly! Can you not understand this concept myself aged 23?
I remember, perhaps in my late twenties, reading an article by Naomi Klein, about why we should boycott Israel. And I remember, not being able to argue with anything she said, nothing. So, I just did, what I’m sad to say, I still do now, hopefully less than I did then, and just, metaphorically, pushed what Naomi Klein said away. But it must have stayed with me, otherwise, how could I still remember that I read it now?
At some point, I formed somewhat of an excuse for not boycotting Israel. What if in boycotting Israel, we are also boycotting Israeli businesses that are nice to Palestinians? So, I concocted this story in my head, where an Israeli shopkeeper calls his family and says, “Family, I’ve got bad news, we are all going to starve to death.” “But father, I don’t want to starve to death!” “Yes I know son, it’s quite unfortunate that we’re all going to starve to death, but, there’s this Israeli boycott going on you see.” “But father, I’m nice to the local Palestinian boy, I’m ever so nice to him father, why should I have to starve to death?” “I know son, we are all nice to the Palestinians, but, the boycotters don’t care weather we’re nice or mean you see.” “Does this mean even Natalie Portman will starve to death? But, she’s ever so nice father, ever so nice!” “Yes son, even charming and talented actress Natalie Portman will starve to death under this blasted boycott I’m afraid.” “Oh this is horrid father, simply horrid! Why couldn’t they have a nice lovely protest like those lovely suffragettes?” “I don’t know son, I don’t know. Now, no more talking, we need to save our energy, as we are now in the process of starving to death.”
So that was my excuse. Not all Israelis are bad, I believed that then and believe it now. And my conscience selectively became concerned about those Israelis who treated everyone the same whether Israeli or Palestinian. The problem, of course, is that I never applied that logic to South African apartheid. I did then, and still do, think this boycott was justified, even though, yes, in principle, it carried the danger of negatively affecting white people in South Africa who opposed the apartheid system. Both boycotts carried the danger of negatively affecting innocent people or at least less complicit people, and I favoured one, and not the other. Cognitive dissonance is great isn’t it!
So, sometimes I like to use a “magical big red button” analogy. I can hear some people down the back screaming, “Magical big red buttons don’t exist so why even talk about them!” To which I respond, “Write your own blog that doesn’t feature magical big red buttons then!” So, let’s say, there was a magical big red button, and, if I pressed this button, it would, from this point on, be impossible for Israel to violate the rights of the people of Palestine. Was there any point in my life where I would have hesitated to press this button?
The answer is no. I can’t think of any point in my life, where if given the opportunity to press a button that would liberate everyone in Palestine, I would have hesitated for even a second to press it. So, why the massive gulf between what I though was good, which was Palestinians living free from apartheid, and my actions, and even my thoughts?
Part of why this is hard to describe is that, I didn’t know or fully grasp all the thought terminating cliches that were going on in my head all the time. That’s why thought terminating cliches are so effective. They just sort of dive bomb your brain and then all of sudden you think about something in a certain way, and don’t fully understand why. But I’ll try my best, to list all of the cliches that were going on in my head at the time.
It’s Complicated.
Everyone’s favourite. The premium thought terminating cliche. This is the best one! Trying to remember it now, I do think there was an element of “It’s complicated.” For me of course, I understood that the inciting incident in 1948 was wrong, but I seemed to think, from 1949 on, it was “complicated.”
Why Does Protest Have To Be So Rude?
I talked about this earlier, there was definitely an element of, “Well I never, these protesters are so uncouth! In my day they’d have never protested like that!”
Boycotts are unjust because they might affect innocent people!
Selectively believed of course.
There’s wrong on both sides!
I think I heard somewhere that maybe perhaps at some point the Palestinian people resisted in ways that were just as bad as what Israel is doing! They’re as bad as each other those two!
Didn’t I hear somewhere that Palestine is homophobic or something?
Israel has better gay rights than Palestine, way better gay rights! Someone was saying something about a bridge or something, or perhaps it was some kind of platform or balcony, but my point is, way better gay rights!
If you look at this list, you’ll see it’s not “Palestinian liberation is definitely done in the wrong way” or “Palestinian society is definitely homophobic.” It’s more a case of “Palestinian liberation might be done in the wrong way” or “Palestinian society might be homophobic.” And that’s the problem, right there. The establishment doesn’t have to convince you that Palestine is DEFINITELY anything. A might be, is all it takes for you to go back to living your life as you always lived it. It’s called inertia.
Humans crave both novelty and habit, and depending on the context, habit might well win out. That’s why we have the phrase, “Force of habit.” What’s your life going to be like after accepting that Israel must be stopped? You probably won’t be going to Starbucks or McDonalds anymore. You’ll probably be going to protests, maybe you never went to one before and you’re nervous about it! Maybe you’ll be having difficult conversations with your friends and family. So much change! This is hard, wouldn’t it be so much easier if……
Oh I just heard that a Palestinian was mean to an Israeli. So now I don’t have to care about Palestine anymore. INERTIA!
It could have gone on like this. I’m in my late thirties, and I really think it could have gone on until the day I die. But something changed, and the change happened, a few days after October 7th.
I learned about October 7th, and like most people, I was horrified by it, so many people slaughtered, it was horrific.
I think it’s important to take a moment to contrast what I thought about October 7th on that day, with what I think about it now. On October 7th, I thought it was simply that a bunch of fanatics attacked the Israeli people for no reason.
What I think about it now is a bit different. I STILL don’t condone the October 7th attacks, but I think they have to be put into context. They didn’t happen for no reason. It’s not like peaceful protest was possible for Palestinians, it’s well documented what happens when they try that.
October 7th was a war crime. But it didn’t appear out of nowhere. It happened because Israel has kept the people of Palestine in a state of apartheid since 1948. Even if you say, “Yes it’s wrong, but the people of Palestine should have protested peacefully” HOW were they supposed to protest peacefully, when the I.D.F opens fire on them when they do? Israel was the one who took a peaceful solution off the table, and as such, Israel was the one who made October 7th inevitable.
So yes, I was greatly saddened by the events of October 7th. But, despite all of my thought terminating cliches, I wasn’t naive enough to not see what was coming next. There would be a massive reprisal, an indiscriminate reprisal, against the people of Palestine. And then, a statement was issued by Yoav Gallant.
“There will be no electricity, no food, no fuel, everything is closed (to Gaza), “
Around the same time, Energy Minister Israel Katz ordered cutting off the water supply to Gaza.
The best way I can describe this, is that, there was a tidal wave in my brain, a massive tidal wave, that knocked down all of the thought terminating cliches, forever. Learning that electricity, food, fuel and water had been cut off to Gaza, no rationalizations or justifications were getting me out of that one.
I said goodbye to all of the inertia inducing half truths, for good.
So, was I an activist for Palestine from that day on? Funnily enough, no. From this moment on, I was still what you would call an “armchair activist” for Palestine. Talking to people about it a lot, and yes, that’s important, but not really engaging in any activism. Because, there was one, just one, thought terminating cliche, almost dead, but still on life support, and that one was, “It’s so big, and I’m just one person, what can I do about it?”
And this continued for another five months, I was a supporter of ending the genocide now unfolding in Gaza, but only from the proverbial armchair. In March 2024, I remember there being a beautiful sunny day, and I was miserable. The suffering inflicted on Gaza was affecting my thoughts so much, that I could think about nothing else. After talking to some people I know about it, I realized that, in order to help my mental state, I would have to get off that armchair! And of course, more important than helping me feel happier, it was the right thing to do!
My first act of protest was sending an email to RTE, in protest of the fact that RTE would be broadcasting the Eurovision, despite Israel’s participation. They didn’t respond. RUDE! I started posting videos on what was happening in Gaza on Facebook, but few people looked at them. I realized I would have to start protesting not online, but in, the real world! Scary!
I have bad social anxiety, and as such had never been to a protest march at that time. I asked a friend who knew about my social anxiety would he go with me to the next march for Palestine, and he said yes. And it turned out, I just needed somebody to accompany me the first time. From that point on, I was able to go on my own without much difficulty. The protests are held every week, and I made the decision that whatever was going on with me, that I would go to at least one a month, but I’d get to more If I could. And of course, you wouldn’t be reading this if I hadn’t started blogging about Palestine, so I started doing that shortly after. And, what about all those innocent Israelis who are helping the Palestinians? Well, I hope they’ll be alright, because shortly after going to the protests, I started boycotting Israel products. There’s a Starbucks near my house, so, mainly due to physical proximity, it became the main cafe I go to, and shortly after I started going to the protests, I never set foot in there again!
And a few weeks ago, I played my first song protesting against the genocide. Would you like to hear it?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NzkjpUK34ZQ
So I started as a person who, in principle opposed Israel, but didn’t do anything about it because my brain had been infected by cliche zombies. Now I’m a person who goes to protest marches despite social anxiety. Now I’m a person who boycotts Israel despite being a creature of habit who can barely comprehend going to a different cafe. I’m a person who played a song of protest for Palestine, and I hope to play it many more times, despite the fact I was worried about the possibility that, through sheer bad luck, there would be a Zionist in the audience that night who would become aggressive.
The reason I decided to document my experience of going from an apathy zombie to someone who tries to do something to oppose what will be remembered as one of the greatest mass slaughters of the 21st century, is that, I still meet people who were like what I was back then. A few days ago someone told me about how terrible it was that those two Israeli staffers were murdered in the United States. While I don’t condone these horrific attacks, this same person said NOTHING about the horrific slaughter of the Palestinian people that’s been going on for nineteen months! I’m STILL hearing it’s complicated from a lot of people! I’m still hearing we have to stay out of politics from a lot of people! (I’m really grateful for the fact that, even at my worst, I never said that one!) I’m still hearing what about Irish problems! (It is an Irish problem, because Ireland lets Israel use Shannon Airport, I wrote about this:
I don’t get it. I was once like them. I was oblivious to the apartheid that was going on in Palestine, the shootings of protestors, the destruction of the hopes and dreams of my fellow human beings. If Yoav Gallant’s and Israel Katz’s vicious and cruel decision to deny all Gazans the necessities of life snapped me out of it, why wasn’t it the same for all of those other people who are equally oblivious?
I’ll finish by saying this. Many of you who’ll read my blog know me via Facebook, and there I have said nasty things about Bono, and Piers Morgan, and Thom Yorke, about how they condemned the genocide 19 months in. The reason I have done this, is because I don’t think they are sincere, I think this is a pathetic attempt to hold onto their reputation, now that, it looks like, and I hope it’s for real, that the tide is turning. But if anyone decides to fight against this barbaric attempt to wipe the Palestinian people off the face of the Earth, because you sincerely want it to stop and you’re not Bono, I, and many others, will welcome you in that fight. Late is always better than never. So why not make the decision today, no more thought terminating cliches, and no more proverbial armchair, the time has come to fight for the rights, dignity, and lives of your fellow human beings!
Ponderings Of An Autist 
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