My friends, we all knew this dark day would come. I just didn’t think it would come so soon.
Our Lord and Saviour, Bono, has stated that Nehenhayu has been very bold this year. If even the Crown Prince of Lethargic Centrism has offered a fairly mild criticism of Israel, then I’m afraid we may be in trouble. I hope I’m wrong, but it looks like the tide could be turning. From this point on, it may be the case, that to look respectable in society, we will have to, we will have to, I’m so sorry, this is really hard to say.
We will have to pretend that we value Palestinian life as much as we value white life, I mean European life, I mean Western life, yes I think that last one is acceptable!
And yes, I know the media is making a valiant attempt to put all the focus on that Kneecap fella, but this may not be enough. Consider this.
Britain has placed sanctions on that weird bug eyed Israeli settler. You know the one, the one who’s the stuff of nightmares? The one Louis Theroux talked to? Yeah, Britain placed sanctions on her. Granted, that’s a few steps below placing sanctions on the entire state of Israel, but, things are getting dicey. We may be reaching the point where people think that killing tens of thousands of Gazans is wrong or immoral, you know, like the way people used to think South African Apartheid was right, and then being fickle weirdos decided that it was wrong.
We may have to pretend to care about the lives of the men women and children who are being killed in Gaza.
So, this is really hard, but I’ve put together a plan for how to manage this crisis.
1. We will need to start saying, “It’s terrible,” not, “It’s terrible, but”
Yes, I’m sorry, this is going to be so hard, but from this point on, when asked about our opinion on the mass killing of those people, we will just have to say, “It’s terrible” and nothing else! No “but”. No “But what about the other injustices”. No “But isn’t there wrong on both sides” and definitely no “But Israel has a right to defend itself!”
2. We will need to pretend we care about a Palestinian child as much as we do about an Irish child, or a British child, or a French child.
This is going to be very difficult, and believe me, I’m dreading it myself, but, you will have to react to the murder of a Palestinian child exactly the same way you would to a proper European child. And I mean EXACTLY the same way. So, when someone mentions the killing of a Palestinian child committed by the I.D.F, just imagine the murder of a white child, I mean a western child, I mean a culturally acceptable child, and pretend that the Palestinian child is one of those acceptable children.
3. We will have to pretend that what’s happening in Gaza is like what happened in Ukraine.
Remember when Putin invaded that white country, I mean that Western country, I mean that country whose values align with ours? Remember Ukraine? Remember how we all came out in support for our white I mean culturally similar brothers and sisters? Well, we will now, in order to avoid being social pariahs, have to pretend that what happened in Gaza is morally comparable with what happened in Ukraine. And I know, I know, you’re probably thinking, “How is invading an acceptable country like Ukraine comparable with killing a bunch of people who’s names I can’t pronounce?” Yes I know, I understand it’s going to be really hard, but we must do this if we don’t want to be ostracized!
4. We can no longer take refuge in the get out of jail free card of “It’s complicated”.
Yep. “It’s complicated” is not going to be the moral cheat code it once was. Just a few months ago, you could Macgiver your way out of any social situation with that one! So if you were talking to some blue haired vegan with seventy five pronouns, who was saying “Dead babies” this, or “Bombing hospitals” that, all you had to say was, “It’s complicated”, and your woke adversary would melt just like in the Wizard Of Oz! But now, “it’s complicated” has lost a lot of its power, because the woke non-binary brigade have convinced people that tens of thousands of starving Gazans is really sad. I don’t know how they managed to convince people of this, but they did, somehow. So, when some disgusting hippie is giving you a lecture about how we are witnessing a livestreamed genocide, I’m afraid you will have no choice but to grit your teeth and respond, “I AGREE!”
5. “What About Irish Problems” Just Won’t Work Anymore I’m Afraid
Look, we all know that an Irish person being mildly inconvenienced, as long as they’re not the wrong kind of Irish person, is worse than a Palestinian being killed. It is intuitively obvious, that an Irish person stubbing their toe, or getting caught in a rain shower, or having their Amazon package being late is far, far worse than a Palestinian being killed. However, the Tofu Worshipping Pronoun Police have decided that Gazan death is more important than Irish inconvenience! What the devil is going on I say! But unfortunately, that’s the hellish dystopia we’re living in. So, if some purple haired person who is some kind of trans is telling you about a Palestinian baby dying, I’m afraid you have no choice but to respond with, “Yes, I agree with the premise that that’s worse than when an Irish person’s bus is late!”
6. Yelling “Antisemitism” worked about six months ago, but sadly, no more.
I wish somebody had told Israel that the antisemitism card is a finite resource, to be used sparingly. They should have only deployed that one every few months, but instead they used it every day of the week. They should only have used it on people who were really a problem, like that autistic who’s always causing all the trouble, what’s her name, Greta Thunberry? But instead they used it on Keir Starmer, who was never an enemy of Israel, it’s just that he’d occasionally say, “Israel is mean sometimes” to appease members of his base who were infected with the insane idea that Palestinian lives have any worth. When you call people who support you antisemitic it loses all meaning! So, sadly it’s too late to do anything about that now, the antisemitism card was a beautiful thing that, if used wisely, could have lasted us a few decades, but sadly Israel got addicted to it and used it up in less than two years. Claims of antisemitism are worthless now. Thanks a lot Nehenyahu!
7. You will need to delete all your social media accounts.
The internet never forgets, but hopefully, if you just quietly close down all of your social media accounts, you’ll be alright. As long as you stay quiet and nobody goes digging into what you said about six months ago, it should be fine. Those scarf wearing weirdos have sadly convinced the world that responding to a mass murder with, “I’m apolitical” or “It’s complicated” or “I’m a proper white European person, therefore my slight neck pain is worse than the death of a child in Gaza” is a heinous crime, and if you’re not careful the Thought Police will come for you! Don’t you see, this is exactly what George Orwell was talking about!
So, it’s going to be a tough few years ahead for people who recognize that people of some complexions are more important than people of other complexions, but alas, that’s where we are right now. As painful as it’s going to be to have to say, “I think it’s terrible that all those non-white children died” we will have to say it. It’s the only way to avoid ostracism now that the world has been taken over by Big Gaza.
Ponderings Of An Autist 