Note, in order to understand this post, you will have to read these previous two, to put it into context. Or, if you don’t like the idea of a bit of extra reading, you are free to dive right in, even though you will have no idea what is going on!
Good afternoon, my name is Dr Ravi Savool, thank you all for being here. I am delighted that so many of you have come today, but I also feel your pain, because you must have so many questions about your children, such as “How come little Johnny keeps making eye contact?” or “How come little Annie has no interest in trains?” or, “How come little Trevor doesn’t run around the house screeching and imitating various animals?” Well, as you will all know by now, your children are suffering from a horrific condition know as END, or Emotional Neutrality Disorder.
And as the wonderful organization, the Voice OF END has explained, END is worse than cancer, AIDS, and diabetes combined, yes, a person who was unfortunate enough to get all three of these illnesses still wouldn’t be as badly off as a person with END. But, my work is under threat. Now, I’m never one to make a martyr of myself, but I am definitely the victim, there is no way to describe it any other way. You see, there is a movement, an evil and sick movement, that is threatening to undo all of my work, and ensure that my name is forever synonymous with pseudoscience and medical quackery. And that movement is called, the END Acceptance Movement.
The END Acceptance Movement uses disgraceful tactics to undermine my work, as well as the work of The Voice of END, and the work of my good friend Alan Sleepgrass, who sounded the alarm on the connection between Emotional Neutrality Disorder and shoes, and had his medical license revoked, and, is doing quite well in America, actually, but that’s not the point! The point is poor Alan Sleepgrass was mercilessly hounded by the END Acceptance Movement!
So, what tactics do the END Acceptance Movement use? Well, they use emotive phrases that are used to distract people from the horror that people with Emotional Neutrality Disorder suffer every day. They use phrases such as, “Different, Not Less.” Oh, this is such a lovely sounding phrase isn’t it? But let me tell you, it doesn’t sound so lovely when you have to deal with heart broken parents every day, like I do. This is just one of the stories from a parent I have been in contact with, I’ll read it to you now.
“I brought my son Micheal down to the train station, I thought he would love to see all of the trains passing by. We sat there, and watched as at least five different trains passed by. I noticed Micheal wasn’t flapping his hands, or screeching with delight, or even trying to memorize any interesting information about the trains. So I asked, “Micheal, what do you think of the trains?” I knew instantly something was wrong, when he made eye contact, as opposed to avoiding eye contact like a proper autistic child does, and says what every parent hates to hear. He just said, “They’re grand.”
So, what have the “Different, Not Less” crowd got to say to this poor parent? What ever so lovely phrases will they use to console them? Imagine, the horror, the sheer terror, of your own child, your most precious treasure in the world, looking directly into your eyes and saying, “Grand!” It chills my soul to even think about it!
One of the other shameful and horrific tactics the END Acceptance Movement use is to claim that they should be listened to, because they have END! Well let me tell you, this strategy doesn’t get anywhere with me, and hopefully will not fool any of the brave parents, the heroes, who struggle to raise a child with END every single day.
You see, while it is true that, in a technical sense, the END Acceptance Movement consists of people with Emotional Neutrality Disorder, they don’t have the condition in the way we usually think of it. They have a very high functioning form of END.
So what is high functioning END?
People with high functioning emotional neutrality disorder are perfectly capable of carrying on with life in the same manner as a proper autistic person. They’re just a bit quirky, that’s all. While high functioning END people might need a little bit of help every now and then, they are perfectly well able to carry on a conversation without making eye contact, they are perfectly well able to flap their hands and screech loudly in reaction to their favourite tv show coming on, and they are PERFECTLY well able to carry out long conversations, for hours at a time, without ever using the word “Grand”.
But the END Acceptance Movement’s response to this is, “We have high support needs END people among our ranks!” Firstly, the term “high support needs” is an awful term. The correct term is, “low functioning”. And secondly, it is well understood that low functioning people with END cannot communicate in any effective way. So if you hear a low functioning END person state, “I am part of the END Acceptance Movement”, well, you can’t trust it. I mean, are you really going to take seriously the words of someone with severe END? Really? Uh oh, looks like the establishment is going to cancel me for being ableist I suppose! You can’t say anything these days!
And of course, that’s the problem, you can’t say anything without the END Acceptance Movement attacking you! All I have ever advocated for is for children suffering from END to be subjected to painful electric shocks, until they stop making eye contact and are too afraid to say the word “grand”. And I am hounded by these fanatics every day of the week! I remember when I was constantly given awards for my work, but these days, my works is considered to be “abusive” and “immoral”, because the END Acceptance Movement has brainwashed everyone! It can’t be that people made up their own minds and decided they didn’t agree with my practices!
But, I won’t give up. I’d like to read the testimony from a brave parent who I have worked with.
“I brought my daughter to Ravi Savool’s “therapy” for years, and she still can’t name any of the actors who played the Doctor, not even Tom Baker or David Tennant! Savool’s full of shit, and his name is just a Norwegian name backwards.” Oh no, this is embarrassing, it seems I got some of my documents mixed up! But, just ignore that, and listen to this testimony instead!
“I am so proud of my son, who, after just two years of Ravi Savool’s therapy, never makes eye contact, always flaps his hands, and can name every episode of Doctor Who, even the lost episodes! We had some hiccups at first, where he would say the word “grand”, and then would spend hours saying, “Savool will electrocute me again,” and “I am bad, why am I bad?”, but now these little problems have been ironed out, and everything is fine with my son!
Or listen to this testimony! This one makes me feels so proud that I have helped this young END child!
“My daughter used to make eye contact with me every single day, it was absolutely heartbreaking. But after a year of Dr Ravi Savool’s treatment, and I feel I have my daughter back again! We had a slight problem last week, where my daughter made eye contact with me for a second, and then spent the rest of the afternoon whispering, “Savool says I’m evil, I must stop being evil.” But after this slight little problem everything has been fine!
So there you have it, I will always stand defiant in the face of the horrific END Acceptance Movement. I am proud of, and always will be proud of, the fact that I regard emotional neutrality disorder as worse than the black death, leprosy and legionaries disease combined, and I will continue my work, no matter what these hysterical fanatics have to say about it!
Ponderings Of An Autist 