It’s 2023, Can We Have Less Shit Language Around Autism Please?

So I was reading some articles about genetics, in preparation for a future blogpost about autism and evolution, that might prove too difficult for me and I might have to scrap it, cursing my hubris at attempting to write a blogpost that was too difficult for me. But anyway, I encountered a lot of articles with phrases such as “What are the risk factors for red hair?”, or “How to reduce your risk of having a blue eyed child” or “Dramatically reduce your risk of giving birth to a baby with black hair in just three easy steps!” Wait, no, I lied, I didn’t read any such articles. Because referring to people with red hair, or people with blue eyes, or people with black hair, as a risk to be avoided, would be inhuman, and cruel. Nobody would be horrible enough to refer to such categories of people in this way. It would be absurd.

But replace red hair, blue eyes, or black hair with autism, and……

Yep

https://www.verywellhealth.com/risk-factors-for-autism-259982

Now, there are many articles like this online, many with worse, more dehumanizing language towards autistic people. But it wasn’t so much the content of the article that caught my attention (thought the content was bad), it was the date this article came out. March 15th 2023. I wasn’t so naive as to think that publicly published articles about autism that described us as a fucking disease were a thing of the past, but I was hoping we’d reached the point where they’d have to cloak their viewpoint by saying something like, “I’m not ableist, some of my best friends are autistic!”

Believe it or not, I was willing to give this article the maximum benefit of the doubt, so I looked into whether in the context of genetics “risk factor”, was a neutral term that didn’t have the connotations I thought it did. But if this were the case, I would surely have found a bunch of articles with titles such as, “Risk factors for being tall” or “Risk factors for having freckles” or “Risk factors for being as ridiculously handsome as Idris Elba.”

But I think I might have a way to fix this, and this might seem very difficult, but, I promise you, it will get easier the more you do it. So, this is what I propose, and, it might seem absurd, but, just give it a try, just once even. Okay, my proposal is that, if you’re the sort of person who writes articles with titles such as, “The risk factors for autism” or “Why autism is worse than “Lady in Red” by Chris De Burgh” or “Why Andrew Wakefield is Amazing and 14,000 Statues of Him Should Be Built Immediately”, why not, well, and this might seem extreme.

Try Talking To An Autistic Person.

Now, if you are really worried about this, you can always wear a hazmat suit to make sure you don’t catch autism off them. There is no need for this, autism is not contagious, and everyone both autistic and neurotypical around you will think you have lost the plot, but if it reassures you, wear a giant hazmat suit. The next step is, approach an autistic person, and say the word, “Hello”.

That’s it, you’re done for the day! Now go home, and have a bit of a rest. You’ve had a really stressful day!

Now, I’m afraid on Day 2 you’ll have to be a bit braver! This time, approach a different autistic person. Don’t worry, you can still wear your hazmat suit, but this time you’ll need to make an even greater effort at making conversation I’m afraid, but it’ll be worth the effort! This time, you say hello again, as in the first day, but this time, you have to wait for them to respond with “Hello” or “How’s it going” or “Why the fuck are you wearing a hazmat suit?” or however they typically respond. Now, and this is where it gets tough, you have to think of something to say to them. Now, there are a lot of things you can say to them, but, the following is off limits, if you say the following, I’m sorry, you have failed and we’ll need to cancel this whole project. The phrase you cannot say is:

“You seem really high functioning!”

Now, I know you are dying to say that phrase, I know that every cell in your body is aching to say that phrase that to you sounds like the most beautiful phrase in the world, but trust me, it’s a bad idea. Refrain from saying that phrase or it’s all over!

But, believe it or not, there are a wide variety of things you can say to an autistic person. Such as “My name is” (Then you say your name), or “Nice weather we’re having isn’t it?” (if it’s hot), or “The weather’s quite bad isn’t it” (If it’s cold, or raining) or “Did you see the local sporting event/latest Netflix show/Celebrity that continues to exist.” And they might give a wide variety of responses, such as “My name is Derek” (unless their name isn’t Derek), or “Yes I did catch the local sporting event” or “No seriously, why the fuck are you wearing a hazmat suit!?” Now, this has all been extremely tiring and stressful for you, so, go home and relax, because you’ve got a big day ahead of you tomorrow!

Now, for Day 3, you’ll have to be extremely brave indeed. I’m sorry, but you’ll have to leave the hazmat suit behind. I know it’s been extremely comforting to wear it in the presence of autistic people, but, to be honest, if you keep wearing the hazmat suit all of your conversations will be limited to the subject of the hazmat suit. So approach an autistic person, without wearing a hazmat suit, and say hello.

Now, you’ve been very brave to get this far, so I think you’re ready to come up with your own conversational topics. But, I know there’s a phrase you’re itching to say, I know you crave saying this more than a smoker craves nicotine, but, you really need to avoid saying this, or it’s all over. The phrase you need to avoid saying is:

Autistic women don’t exist.

Now, I feel bad for asking you not to say that, I know you got up this morning looking forward to shouting that phrase as loudly as you can, but I’m telling you, it’s all over if do you that, especially if the person you’re talking to happens to be an autistic woman. So resist the urge to say it! If you need to say it once you’re in the privacy of your own home again, by all means, but for now, be brave and don’t say it!

Now I know you’re eagerly awaiting your instructions for Day 4, but there are no instructions. I think you’ve been very dedicated, and very courageous, and I think you’re ready to talk to autistic people without any supervision whatsoever. You can do it, I believe in you! And now, after this three day course of talking to autistic people, my hope is that your next article won’t be called “Risk Factors for Autism” but will be called “I Have An Autistic Friend His Name Is Larry He’s Really Cool And He Has A Skateboard”. I’m so proud of you, your courage in being willing to talk to autistic people is just, so inspiring, you’re amazing! You need to do a Ted Talk at once!