There is a certain rapper who the young kids may not remember called 50 Cent. He had such songs as, eh, I don’t know, because I don’t remember his music either. In 2016, he started ridiculing an airport worker who was just doing his job, and at the revelation that the worker was autistic, 50 Cent apologized and donated to an autism charity:
https://www.bbc.com/news/newsbeat-36225630
So, am I happy with this outcome? To be honest, I’m sort of ambivalent about it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad that he faced consequences for his cruel actions. First of all, 50 Cent as part of his atonement, donated to Autism Speaks, who are really, really, bad. Here’s a blog I did on them:
But there’s another reason it doesn’t sit well with me. Let me explain.
Let’s say it turned out that instead of being autistic or in some way disabled, airport worker Andrew Farrell was neurotypical and had no disability whatsoever. Would this have meant he deserved to be publicly humiliated? No! He was just doing his job and causing no harm to anyone whatsoever. Without the explanation that he was autistic, 50 Cent may not have experienced any consequences whatsoever. I don’t think anyone should be subjected to ridicule, bullying, or abuse, autistic or neurotypical, disabled or able bodied. Why does it matter that he was autistic? Why do the things that make us who we are need to be explained by a diagnosis such as autism?
Our Differences Do Not Need To Be Excused
Society completely arbitrarily views certain differences as abhorrent. But, maybe it’s okay if you have an “excuse” for your differences. You can’t help your behaviours that society deems to be bad, so it’s okay.
I remember when society was slowly waking up to the fact that being in a gay relationship is not anything that should be met with scorn or contempt. And an argument for this that I often encountered, is that being gay is involuntary, gay people can’t help being gay. I always remember this video where Richard Dawkins interviews the Bishop of Oxford. Maybe some day there’ll be a blogpost on Richard Dawkins, he has, as the young people say, some bad takes, but today I’m more interested in what Bishop Harries has to say.:
One of Bishop Harries’s arguments (though not his only one), for why gay people should be accepted by society is that, being gay is involuntary. Now, a part of me to this says, great, if realizing that being gay is not a choice gets a person to stop attacking the gay community, then that’s obviously something to be celebrated. But there’s another part of me that says, why does it even matter if it’s not a choice? I’m straight, and it’s just accepted by society. Even though being straight isn’t a choice, society doesn’t demand that I justify it by proclaiming that it’s not a choice. The only relevant fact, is that a relationship, sexual and/or romantic, between two or more consenting adults of the same gender causes no harm to anyone. The fact that being gay is involuntary is irrelevant! It’s almost like gay people were given a free pass on a behaviour that is less than ideal, when what should have happened is that their behaviour was never seen as less than ideal.
While great progress has been made on getting society to turn away from homophobia (which isn’t to say homophobia has been eliminated), sadly the same progress has not been made on eliminating transphobia, indeed, I spend as much time today trying to reason with transphobes as I did trying to reason with homophobes about fifteen years ago. Hopefully, we’ll see the end of this horrible time when being abusive to the transgender community is something that is tolerated by society. But I also hope for something else, I hope that, we can just skip the part where transgender people have to prove that the way they are “isn’t a choice” and recognize that their gender identity doesn’t cause any harm to anyone.
It’s Not Always Strictly True That I Can’t Help Being the Way I Am
So, I’m autistic, and that means I can’t help displaying hand movements or making vocal sounds that might offend NT people. Well no, that’s not strictly true. Sometimes, I could stop these behaviours if I wanted. If I’m sitting down looking at the ocean on a beautiful day, I probably could stop flapping my hands and making joyous sounds if I wanted to. But I don’t want to. Does that mean I lose the free pass on being “odd”? And where does this leave NT or able bodied people who are merely eccentric? Are they fair game? This doesn’t seem fair.
So, Should We Abandon Bringing Up How Are Differences Aren’t Choices?
Ehhhhhhhhhhh. Yes, that is my response to this question that it is entirely my own fault I have to answer because I’m the one who just asked it. If you are talking to somebody who has misguided views on gay people, or trans people, or autistic people, or any other minority in society who is the way they are because it’s “not a choice”, if you think bringing up the fact that it’s not a choice will bring them to a greater level of tolerance for these groups, then go for it. Remember, during a single conversation with someone, it is very, very unlikely that you will bring them around to a whole new way of thinking, so, if you can start them in the right direction by bringing up how certain differences are involuntary, then absolutely, go for it. But the hope, even if it’s a distance hope, is that we can get society to a point where the “it’s not a choice” part doesn’t matter, but for today, we just have to do our best, even if it’s less than ideal.
Having a Problem With Someone For Being Different Is Just Wrong
No excuse, no explanation, no apology is needed. Everyone who doesn’t fit society’s norms in ways that harm nobody, needs to be just left alone to live their lives in peace. You might think at this point that what I’m leading up to is a declaration that I “don’t believe in labels.” But no, that’s not actually how I feel. In fact, my next autism related post will be on how I, for want of a better way of putting it, do believe in labels.
Update, the labels post is done now, HURRAY!!!!:
Ponderings Of An Autist 